Free Seafood University: Jameis Winston steals crab legs from Publix

FSU two sport star Jameis Winston can now add a far less impressive entry to his list of talents: allegedly stealing crab legs from a Publix grocery store. Winston, who has won the Heisman Trophy and a National Championship as the football quarterback at Florida State, is currently serving as an ace starting pitcher for the FSU baseball team during the football offseason. But in a surreal incident that sounds like something out of a fake headline generator, “Famous Jameis” has been fingered by police for pinching about thirty dollars worth of seafood.

The bizarre story immediately elicited an explosion of jokes and memes across Twitter at Jameis Winston’s expense. Photoshopped images depicted him joyfully clutching crab legs in place of his Heisman Trophy, while several people joked that FSU must now stand for Free Seafood University.

If Winston really did steal the seafood in question, there’s no excusing such behavior and he deserves whatever punishment the school or the NCAA dishes out (the police let him off with a citation, not an arrest). But if we’re going to ask student athletes to stop doing childish things like stealing seafood from the grocery store, perhaps it’s time to stop doing silly things like limiting the number of meals that schools are allowed to feed to student athletes per week – if only to take away any possible excuse that a crag leg-pincher like Winston might have.

Will Stabley
Will Stabley is the Founder and Senior Editor of Stabley Times.
Will Stabley